I have not lost my writing skills. I lost my passion. I had a set back with my aging Mother suffering a massive stroke a month ago. I keep trying to get back to my writing. I am 80% finished with my book on Las Vegas. But, I am at a standstill. My groove was violently interrupted and Im having a hard time with my passion.

My days alone are spent at gym and reflecting looking at nothing in the sky. I know I should use my talent and finish. My excuses are not valid but yet they are to me. Im a born writer and have always needed inspiration. 

Even though I am in my city of Las Vegas that I love, I find it hard to get back to where I left off a month ago.

I would love feed back to deal with this sadness. I have so much more to finish with this masterpiece, I am just feeling so low. 

Heart break with family shouldnt set us back, but in reality, it does, unless you have no heart.

Endure

So, here I am. Years later and getting my book on the right track. For anyone that is thinking about writing a book, it is not a simple gesture. Even though I know exactly what I am writing, I have so much research before I even write a chapter. I lived in Las Vegas during an era that doesn't exist anymore. Most of the places Im writing about are either imploded, changed names or completely non-existent. I thought I would be done by now. But, its a long process and I want everything to be as accurate as possible.
There was a time where I thought to hurry and write. Thats not what the publisher wants. He wants a detailed collective accurate account of everything. I cannot leave one detail untold.
My goal date is September 2019. I still have that in my mind, but it could be or not be?
To write..takes 4-6 hours in a sitting after hours of research. Research could be books, google, reading and looking at photos with dates that I have had for 35 years. Its more work than anyone thinks about.
Sure, I hear people say " Im going to write a book"
If you're not a celebrity or well known, you have to write it all on your own. Those folks have help with writers etc. Im writing it all on my own. Yes, I have an interested publisher and editor, they encourage me, but Im writing it myself.
Its now a reality and I will not stop until I feel I have given my best. Its my dream to share with the world about Las Vegas and what it was like being a Showgirl and the old school ways of Las Vegas. That era is gone but the memories are all there. Endure with me as I complete a masterpiece for the history of an era that is gone, but lives on in memory. 

Small Space

As I sit in the smallest space I have ever lived in Las Vegas. I find the complete soul and love for my city. Probably the nicest environment I have ever been a part of since moving to Las Vegas in 1987. I feel at peace where I am. Its hard to find. I have lived in mansions in some of the wealthiest communities in Las Vegas and I felt like I didn't exist. Living here has provided a peace and love for community. My neighbors are my friends. Can you say in Las Vegas that you are friends with your community? You might say yes, but do you really know who lives next to you? Do you hang out with your neighbors and enjoy a pizza? I would say you dont. This community is all about their people and animals. We all love and respect one another. 

And, this is where my book is written. I can write all hours of the day and night. It so peaceful and serene. You might think Im making this up. But its true. Im a few blocks from the strip and this community is well maintained and the residents care about their home. Im super lucky.

I write daily. The stories are dripping from my soul. I am projecting a first draft by end of summer to submit to the publisher. 

'Badshowgirl' will be a book to read by 2020.

Loosely..

You all are a bunch of complainers. You think Las Vegas owes you free drinks and buffets. Get over yourself. That only happens if you spend money in the casino. You wonder why in the recent decade that casinos charge for everything? Simple, you arent a paying customer. You park and walk the strip. Those days are over. You should pay to park as tourists. It sucks for us locals because now we have to navigate our way in, with Uber and drop-offs.
Spend some damn money and all the fees will go away.

The complaining needs to stop.

If you lived in Las Vegas in the 70's, 80's, 90's , there were no fees. Why? Because people came here to stay and gamble, eat and enjoy the shows. The new crowd in 2019 wants everything for free without paying. Suck it up or leave. Im sick of everyone complaining.

Las Vegas is a giving city. It always has been. But too much greed and it has lost its appeal.

Stop being a bitch. Use your wallet a little loosely in Vegas and you might see your luck changed.

Showgirls are everything. Las Vegas is known for casinos, buffets, gambling and the infamous Showgirl.
I can write day in and day out about the 'life' but no one will ever know our life unless you experience it through my eyes as a Las Vegas 'Showgirl' and performer around the world.

Showgirls are a permanent renaissance woman, we are the history of a city that has evolved beyond what Vegas used to be. We are everywhere. Most older than 40. So, as you can imagine, there was a life before the mega casinos and day clubs. We are still here, and we see everything. We see a life that no longer exists. It is not a sadness, it is an overwhelming feeling of nostalgia. We lived a historic part of Vegas that most would find interesting.
I was part of an era in the 1980's, !990's and early 2000's... the 'Showgirl' was considered a celebrity. Everywhere we went, people would praise us, give access and show appreciation.

Stay tuned, my historical book will be out within the next year. You want to know the behind scenes, or the clubs, maybe the mob. I have it all.  Almost half way done, you will not believe it. I still cant believe I lived this life.

"The Auditions"

Im working on a chapter called "The Auditions"

This is a chapter that I hope will shed light on what it was like to be chosen for a show. It was not an easy process.
First, you had to have a beautiful body and face. Second, your talent had to exceed what the producer or choreographer was looking for. Third, you had to be compliant and willing to do extraordinary things. Meaning, you had to be a triple threat.
There were always loads of dancers at the auditions and this could lead to steep competition among your peers. You could be friends with someone one minute while warming up the next you were a rival once the audition started.

I rarely left an audition without being kept. 99% of the time I was chosen, which led to jealousy and hatred from my fellow dancers.
I say sorry, but not sorry. It was a way of life and everyone eventually got over it.

In my book, I will reveal all the details and back lash. Plus why I did what I did to dance in the biggest shows in Las Vegas.

Daily

So, I have been working on my story "The Las Vegas Showgirl" and Im getting depressed. When I go back and tell stories of my experiences it is not always pleasant. Being onstage and dancing in all the shows was amazing, but some of the avenues that got me into a show weren't always a glorious moment. I had to do many things that were unethical in today's standards. I am trying to paint a picture of the lifestyle of a Showgirl in the 1980-1990-2000's that most wont believe or understand. 

Dont get me wrong, everything I encountered I accepted and endured. I endured for the Passion of dance.

Being in some of the biggest shows in Las Vegas had its ups and downs. 

 Im working diligently on my story. I believe that readers will want to know what when on behind the scenes as a Vegas performer. I hope that my story will be entertaining and delivered with compassion and excitement!

I think a rough draft will be available in 6 months.